I don’t know about you, but I am really feelin’ 2022 (for all my swifties out there). We’re all in need of a good year, and I want to make this year my best yet.
One of my resolutions is to find something beautiful (using this term loosely) in every day. I don’t think I’ve consciously done this every single day, but there has certainly been plenty of beauty to notice.
I spent the first two days of the new year soaking up the sun at the beach. The Dawgs won the national championship. My sister has a baby on the way. I’ve spent the last two days by the fire with a picture-perfect snowy view outside my window.
But when work picks up and I get busy and overwhelmed, I know I am likely to start taking life’s beauty for granted again. It’s easy to forget how blessed I am when I’m not paying attention.
cycles suck.
In recent years, growing in self-awareness has been a top priority. God has been speaking to me (LOUDLY) through loved ones, scripture, the enneagram, nature, and even my own writing. I’ve uncovered some of my destructive behaviors and thought patterns that tend to stop joy in its tracks.
Unfortunately, these pesky habits tend to function as cycles. Once you’re stuck in a cycle, it seems inescapable. We go round and round, lulled into a state of perpetual inaction, convinced there is no way out.
For example: I’m tired all the time, so I sleep too much, so I don’t have time to do the things I love, so I’m depressed, so I’m tired all the time, so I sleep too much…
Another painful one: I sin, so I feel guilty, so I don’t pray, so I grow distant from God, so I sin, so I feel guilty…
But no matter what cycles you’re stuck in, you are not powerless.
break the cycle
At some point, you have to break the cycle and reclaim your life. But the path of life is called “the straight and narrow” for a reason. It’s not easy. When you’ve been knocked flat on your back, jumping for joy sounds about as practical as growing a pair of wings and flying to Jupiter. So start small.
Open your eyes. Sit up. Look around. The next step is to stand up, right?
Wrong. The next step is to ask for help.
ask for help
We are not built to muscle our way through life on our own. We are built for community, accountability, relationship. One of the most universal and detrimental cycles: I’m struggling, so I feel alone, so I don’t ask for help, so I’m struggling…
Asking for help can feel absolutely terrifying. Honestly, I’m terrible at it.
Maybe you feel pressured to be the strong one; you don’t want to be a burden. Or you don’t want to show weakness. Or maybe you’ve been lying on your back for so long that you’re afraid of what it’s going to feel like to be on your feet again. But I promise you, that moment of vulnerability to say, “I need help,” is so worth the life of freedom that follows.
So open your eyes, sit up, and look around. Look for someone you can ask for help. Sometimes it will seem like there’s no one. But there is always God. Sometimes even a prayer feels like too much. Do it anyway. It can be as simple as, “Lord, I need you.” Start small.
Once you’re on your feet, you might still lack the energy to jump. You might not think you have any joy to jump for. That’s where gratitude comes in.
joyful prayerful thankful
It is no surprise that solely focusing on our struggles and shortcomings will not produce joy. We have to make an active effort to notice the blessings instead. Even on the bleakest days, there is one truth that never fails, the greatest blessing of all: you are loved by the faithful, patient, perfect, unchanging, almighty God. No matter what. Forever.
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
This scripture might feel like the long-winded version of, “cheer up, bucko.” Well… easier said than done. But guess what? Paul establishes just a few verses earlier that we need each other to stay on track in our joyful/prayerful/thankful endeavors:
“And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14
warning
If you’re like me, you skipped right over the whole “idle and disruptive” bit. The rest of the verse feels so happy and gentle. Encourage, help, be patient. I can get behind all that. But warn? Uh… can we just ignore that part? Nope.
I am definitely guilty of idleness (kind of a big thing for us enneagram 9s), but I try really hard not to be disruptive (*cough* NINE *cough*). But Paul links these two things together — not only here, but in his second letter to Thessalonica as well.
When my body is idle, I am not doing the things that make me happy. So how can I rejoice? (1 Th 5:16)
When my thoughts are idle, I am not paying attention to God. So how can I pray? (1 Th 5:17) How can I give thanks? (1 Th 5:18)
Look again at verse 18: “for this is God’s will for you.” When I do not rejoice, pray, give thanks… I am disrupting the will of God.
encourage, help, be patient
I believe all of Paul’s direct objects (grammar nerds where you at) in 1 Thessalonians 5:14 are the same people. The idle and disruptive are the disheartened and the weak. It’s actually a perfect example of a cycle: I’m weak, so I’m disheartened, so I’m idle, so I’m weak…
So, yes, we should accept this warning against idleness. And then we should seek out encouragement and help, because we are disheartened and weak. Paul finishes the verse by saying, “be patient with everyone.” Don’t let that command get lost in the sauce. Be patient with yourself.
Now, here’s some REALLY GOOD NEWS: stepping out of idleness, out of darkness, out of those old cycles… means stepping into joy, into light, and yes, into new cycles. It is a big, brave step to take, but boy is it beautiful on the other side.
cycles don’t have to suck!
Making the switch from a destructive cycle to a productive one usually means the difference of one choice. However, this mental shift does not preclude you from hardship forevermore. In John 16:33, Jesus flat out tells us, “In this world you will have trouble.” There will be times that you are tired or sinning or struggling. When faced with those things, you have the opportunity to choose the path of life (action) over the path of death (idleness). In doing so, you choose joy.
OLD CYCLE: I’m tired all the time, so I sleep too much, so I don’t have time to do the things I love, so I’m depressed…
NEW CYCLE: I’m tired all the time, so I pray for strength, so I feel inspired to do the things I love, so I find JOY, so I do more of what I love, so I find more joy…
OLD CYCLE: I sin, so I feel guilty, so I don’t pray, so I grow distant from God, so I sin, so I feel guilty…
NEW CYCLE: I sin, so I recognize my need for grace, so I repent, so I grow closer to God, so I find JOY, so I pray more, so I grow even closer to God, so I find more joy…
OLD CYCLE: I’m struggling, so I feel alone, so I don’t ask for help, so I’m struggling…
NEW CYCLE: I’m struggling, so I ask for help, so I realize I’m not alone, so I overcome my struggle, so I find JOY, so I am able to help others overcome their struggles, so I find more joy…
Joy begets action begets joy. Take the leap.
called to action, called to joy
We have to open our eyes to what God is doing. When we realize the ways He has blessed us, we value our lives more. And when we value something, we don’t let it slip away.
Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances. For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Th 5:16-18)
In other words, consistent joy is achievable through consistent prayer and gratitude, and all of this is necessary because it is God’s will.
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) When we invite the Lord into our struggles, we find victory. We find the strength to jump for joy.
There is always joy to be found.
Great post! Identifying the toxic cycles in our life and solving them with joy and action is such a great idea. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and realizations.